A quick catch-up of me and where I am at. I am a single parent to a beautiful and ballsy 5 yr old daughter, I am also a new graduate attempting to build my own small business, and oh so very single.
I am still trying to rediscover myself after leaving my daughters father 4 years ago (a man I had been with for for the previous 7 years). Since then I have managed to lose my best friend of almost 10 yrs by stupidly seeing her brother on the down-low casually for a few months... I have also undertaken and completed a new course of study, and am now trying to build something from nothing...
I think I am getting there though... for the first time in many years I am hanging out in my bedroom (daughter is at her dads for the night), music is playing, I am randomly singing along, and I don't remember doing this since my teenage years...(hanging out in my bedroom listening to music i mean, random singing happens every day...). Even went roller-skating (quad-skating) with a girl-friend today with our daughters (bffs...). I feel like I am starting to get back to who I was, but at the same time I have this feeling that my life is slipping by (rapidly) and that i have completely unrealistic expectations thanks to my voracious appetite when it comes to trashy romance novels and romance/drama/rom-com movies that I can't resist watching.
As I have already mentioned, I have a night to myself tonight, and still here I am, at home. Drinking wine, eating chocolate, listening to music, reading trashy romance novels and reminiscing of days and loves gone by. And yet hesitant to put myself back out there, but not wanting to end up alone... The only comfort I feel is , knowing others are in the same situation... right? I find myself looking at others, at times and wondering how/why they have what they do in their lives and wondering why I am where I am. At the same time though I am lucky enough to have an amazing child... so I wouldn't want to change how things have worked out...
I would however like someone in my life; someone that can respect the relationship I have with my daughter, someone who can understand that my daughters father is still in her life, and someone that can understand that although i am a dedicated mother I am also a woman than needs to be recognised and treated as such! Now where do i find such a man???
